This blog is about living the American Dream at the dawn of the new millennium! I am a nameless, mid-20s, bottom 150 Law School Graduate who finds himself marginally attached and awash in a sea of overeducated but underpaid, indentured peers who feel, and were, duped by the promise of a better life through debt and modern chemistry. Let's get to the point. The Law School Industrial Complex is a scam that has destroyed a generation out of greed. Vendettas were once legal and the pursuit of one was seen not only as moral, but necessary. This newly minted lawyer is going to continue the practice. DON'T GO TO LAW SCHOOL YOU MORONS! Ce qui suit est ce qui reste!

Sunday, April 29, 2012

End of the Beginning: Law School Dean Admits Scam

Well that only took two freaking years.  No really, it's been just about two years since I joined the fray.  Happy anniversary!  In that time things have really only gotten worse for the law school grads.  The scam is becoming kitchen table conversation and the ultimate victims are now going to become bargaining chips for the upcoming election.  Funny how that seems to happen.  Realistic translations of recent headlines assemble!

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First, if your ridiculously old ass wants the privilege of attending law school you're going to have to pony up more dough than when they could rake a higher volume of idiots.  You know, the same group of people that thought flea circuses were real, the Bible is literal truth, and we invaded Iraq on just pretenses (aka complete fucking morons).  It makes complete economic sense that fewer applicants means higher costs, but for you Zero Lemmings who are still intent on jumping off the cliff -- this just means you'll be throwing that much more money down the toilet.  But then again as so many of my compatriots say, I'm already at six figures who cares if I add a little more? This shit is for beyond your mortal life anyway.

Second, speaking now with an "expert" on bankruptcy and "ethics"...former "Dean," the reader may substitute the word dean here for the phrase "lying sack of quasi-criminal shit who got away with it and laughs about it all the way to the bank" as this phrase is the common tongue translation for dean.  So we're talking about Nancy B. Rapoport (the B stands for Bullshiter).

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Nancy Bullshit is here at some fucking useless conference in the most useless fucking city on God's green earth talking about the coming "possible" closure of "some" law schools.  That's not the actual question, the actual question posed is,

"Do you expect Congress to take action and amend the bankruptcy code at some point to make student debt dischargeable?"
God...no fuck it just watch the clip.



Point A, this whole interview is creepy as fuck.  They both start off with those fake camera smiles that makes them look like some kind of lobotomy patient who has a set of jingle bells dangled in front of them (also weird she's doing this interview in a body posture that looks like she is sitting on a broom--handle first).

Point B,  by "class" of law school students, Bullshiter meant to say "each and every single year of graduates" including the fucking President of the United States and not "class" as in a smaller subset of people.  Overall, she has this casual detached, I don't give a shit affect throughout the interview as if she is talking about wallpaper.  It doesn't even sound like she's talking about something she's passionate about...something you'd expect from an "expert" in something.  Well she's detached and disaffected for most of the interview...

But here comes my favorite part or as they say in poker, her Tell.  What's the old saying, if someone's lips are moving they are lying?

Notice the way that she smiles when she says the phrase, "They went into law school believing the statistics that their law schools posted..." at the 1:26 mark.  

If I've ever seen a self aware shit eating grin on a perpetrator's face it's right there.  That's the closest I've ever seen a dean actually admit they were in on the scam.  Not admit to the scam in Brian Tamanaha's hedging manner of "I have a concern about these numbers here I had better postulate and pontificate about it like the bloviating asshole of a professor I am rather than actually do anything about it."

Her body language gives it all away.  I've seen shopping mall elves lie to children better than this shameless bitch professor.
 
The students believed the statistics...Can you fucking believe that?  What kind of an asshole could have believed the shit we were shilling?

OH THAT'S RIGHT FUCKING EVERYONE BELIEVED THE STATISTICS!!!

YOU HELD THEM OUT AS FACTUAL FOR YEARS WITHOUT HAVING TO PROVIDE ANY EVIDENCE THAT YOU WEREN'T LYING THROUGH YOUR GOD DAMN TEETH!!!

GOD FORBID WE EXPECT DECENCY HONESTY AND INTEGRITY FROM A FUCKING INSTITUTION THAT BLABS ABOUT PROTECTING THE SAME FOR THE SOCIETY AS A WHOLE!!!  WHAT'S ANOTHER WORD FOR THIS OH RIGHT! ETHICS!!! MOTHERFUCKERS!!!

This is the Nixon/Frost moment for me...whereas Nixon at least had the balls to say "If the President does it then it's not a crime" Nancy Bullshiter is being tongue in cheek about the scam she benefited from for years.  Take a look kids, this is the closest you will ever see to someone ever admitting they knew what they were doing in the law school scam.

Notice the sharp intake of breath at 1:28 as she says "believing the statistics about most of our graduates get jobs and they find out low and behold even if it were true at the time it's not true now."  Fucking A.  Even if they were true at the time?!

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What the fuck?!  There's a fucking "reporter" right there and he didn't have the wherewithal to follow up on that statement? Are you fucking kidding me?!

 

Point C, Professor Brian Tamanaha---that crusading muckraker of a blogger who posted not 1 but 3, 3 whole tangential blogposts!!!! where he mentions what was going on in law schools--- and many other profiteers on the younger generation's misery have taken umbrage with my characterization of them as morally culpable, probably criminal Crypto-Nazis (to use Gore Vidal's words).  You know, shameless bags of shit.

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Quite frankly, he and the rest of the law school professors, deans and administrators who keep this shit going even as some now "criticize it" can go suck on the most Aids riddled gorilla dicks in the most remote parts of Subsaharan Africa until they literally bleed to death from their ears from crippling opportunity infections.  Words fail to describe the scenarios of my imagination.


Motherfuckers.


Nancy "Bullshit Streaming From My Pores" Rapawhore brings it back around with the astute observation "Not only can they not make their loan payments they can't make their rent." Then she slightly shrugs.

Time for her solutions.  The Northern Exposure plan? Really?  That's the best your "expert" mind can come up with?  Go out to "underserved" areas?  Fuck you bitch why don't you go out to the fucking Yukon and help people, you're the "expert" here.  I'm sure there are some moose hunters who would like to get their books in order.  I know let's wait for Congress! Good idea Nance!!  Like the companies that have a trillion dollars of money down on this scam will let Congress give people an out.  Did expert replace the word retard in our vernacular?

To close, she expects some schools will have to close but not the schools at the top top...you know the top of the heap, best of the best institutions like the William S. Boyd School of Law at the University of Nevada.  

William S. Boyd will still be bringing in the kids with the Buck Rogers, what the fuck did you just really use that phrase in a conversation, to keep going on as an elite place of learning.  This is the same city where there's a growing underground city of homeless, jobless people in a waterless desert and it happens to have the highest unemployment rate in the country.  But don't you worry when the real shit starts hitting the fan, William S. Boyd will come out on top top.  Who thinks Nancy will be around at Boyd and lose her job when that happens?

Place your bets here! Place your bets!

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Third and finally, speaking of shit hitting the fan.  What's that?!  A Law School in trouble?! They're having layoffs! They're having layoffs! They're having layoffs!!! (to be read very quickly with the tone of naner naner naner).

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What? They're firing the fucking janitors not the professors?! Son of a bitch.  Now here's where the rubber meets the road with Nancy Bullshit's prognostications.  Even if these pieces of shit who run rape mills where they destroy innocent victims futures with false promises are "negatively impacted by an unforeseen combination of marketing puffery regarding their graduates success and market economics thereby forced to right size," it won't be the professors that go first.  No no.  They'll make sure to get theirs first.  Rats always get off before passengers.

The disparity in pay at schools like Hastings between employees is ridiculous.  In the same way that 1 average American consumes the same amount of resources as about 25 Zimbabweans, 1 fired law school professor could cover, I'm guessing in the dark here, at least a couple of "staff" salaries.  But you have to protect the talent right?  Motherfuckers.

By the way, I've regularly interacted with a number of Hastings grads and I will say they're just like anyone else who goes to a school like that, pretentious douchebags.  Just kidding, not really, but I do know one kid from Hastings who sucks donkey balls as a human being.  Then again, law school isn't about making well rounded, morally upright human beings.  It's about raking in that loan money!!! Make it rain bitches!

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By the way if anyone has a problem with my sentiments, analysis or language at any point in this post, please see below.

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Till next time!!! GET ON YOUR HOLDEN CAUFIELD CAPS KIDS IT'S TIME TO WORK FOR THE UNDERSERVED, YOURSELF NOT INCLUDED!!!

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Law Profs to Face Same Kind of Unemployment as Grads?

Now is the winter of their discontent and the glorious summer of the scambloggers, well not really but I never get to use that phrase in normal conversation.  But basically I am referring to this little piece of heavenly news.

LSAT takers dropping like whoa!!!  We Shall Praise Whatever Non-Law Demon is Responsible!!!

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That's right.  Even the people who actually teach law students...no not professors...the bar prep mercenaries....are seeing the writing on the wall to quote from the article:

Steve Schwartz, an LSAT tutor, said the new LSAT figures were not a surprise, given the steady decline in the number of students seeking one-on-one tutoring.  
 

“This is a major turn of events,” he wrote of the newly reported test numbers on his LSAT Blog, “The tide is turning, folks.”

Oh yes, the tide is turning finally and I have been saying for a long time that this was my ultimate goal/what I want to start see happeningThe pieces of shit in charge, like most humans, can't or won't regulate themselves when they're still raking in the cash.  But when the customers stop buying the snake oil that'll help.  The slaughterhouses are still pumping out far far too many lawyers per year, but it's a step towards the market righting itself back to some kind of sanity. 

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Now this has been commented on to death by others, so I won't go too much into it.  I share the same thoughts as others...instead of this being the death spiral for the scam all that this really means is that you will see the quality of the students accepted into debt slavery start to drop to dangerous levels.  With the housing crisis, this meant they just were handing out mortgages to people who had no chance of ever being a homeowner.  *See below



Now with the housing crisis, it was a matter of giving it to people who didn't have enough income or assets to pay their mortgages.  Now the law schools are already doing this across the board with law degrees, in terms of giving them out to people regardless of the financial sense it made.

So who am I talking about when I say they will lower the standards to keep the law school scam going?

In a short, each graduating class will be dumber and dumber and I think you'll start to see the bar exam passage rates drop as well.  Now this has been happening in higher ed for years, so they just lowered the standards.  This led to the whole bullshit arms race that has turned the college degree of today into the high school diploma of yesteryear. 


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I'm not an elitist or anything, and I have argued the way we test for "aptitude" and "ability" throughout the legal education process is fucked in every way.  BUT the anecdotal experience at my bottom tier school, where they would take literally anyone who had a pulse and a blank check from the Feds, is that we had some powerfully stupid people in classes.  I'm talking about people who are still trying to pass a bar exam anywhere 3 or more years out, taking it twice a year for some reason.  The people I'm thinking of weren't law review types that just test poorly, they were just unfit for the practice of law from the start and no one had the decency to tell them otherwise.

Thank god the state bars have enough sense to have at least some level of hurdles to fucking up people's lives.  Imagine if the medical community operated this way.  We'd still be using leeches and believing that all sickness comes from bad odors and air for fuck's sake.


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To me, these new numbers show that the "smarter" people who would have gone off to the 20-150 ranked schools are going to avoid it all together.  They'll go off and do something else.  Now this cohort is the bulk of your practicing attorneys.  The much exulted Top Law Schoolers just fuck things up, and I intereact with these over-hyped assholes daily and trust me you wouldn't want them defending you from a murder charge.

Meanwhile, the other Zero Lemmings who are either too blind, too stupid, or too "determined" to be lawyers will still go for the scam.  And I see that classmate of mine who thought that the castle doctrine didn't make sense or shouldn't ever apply because, to quote him literally and in all serious, "No one in America lives in a castle?!"

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Say all the negative things you want about the practice of the law and legal education, and trust me I take more than enough opportunities to do so, but it's hard to be good at it if you can barely read or comprehend anything that you do manage to read.  

This is the future for the majority of "lawyers" in America.  I guess one silver lining is that it'll be harder for them to fuck things up as badly as generations of "smart" lawyers have done.

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OHHHHHHHHHHH, that's right...even though I think the "legal profession" should really be worried by this...They aren't and they won't be until it's too late just like everything else, looking at you ABA, but society will be the party that gets fucked with its pants still on.  You have to have standards in the first place to worry about the diminishing of those standards.  Without a baseline it's hard to measure how bad it has become.


When I mentioned all of this to one of my other practicing classmates, while helping him put stuff on craigslist to pay for Lexis fees, he just laughed and said the following:

"Demosthenes are you really worried about that?  In the future Americans won't have American attorneys.  They'll have to do everything via the web with their 3rd world attorneys in Mumbai or something.  The rest of us will just have to learn how to drive taxis."

I responded, "But isn't Google going to have a functional car that can drive itself on the marketplace by then?"


We then both stared at eachother in one long  fuck me moment.

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On the plus side, we got enough money to pay for his next Lexis payments by selling his personal belongings...so at least there's that.

Till Next Time!!!  Here's to a Future Where Law Profs are As Unemployed As Their Students!!!