This blog is about living the American Dream at the dawn of the new millennium! I am a nameless, mid-20s, bottom 150 Law School Graduate who finds himself marginally attached and awash in a sea of overeducated but underpaid, indentured peers who feel, and were, duped by the promise of a better life through debt and modern chemistry. Let's get to the point. The Law School Industrial Complex is a scam that has destroyed a generation out of greed. Vendettas were once legal and the pursuit of one was seen not only as moral, but necessary. This newly minted lawyer is going to continue the practice. DON'T GO TO LAW SCHOOL YOU MORONS! Ce qui suit est ce qui reste!

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Here's Why Law Professors Are Evil & Generation Fantasy Camp

Well this shit just keeps getting more ridiculous.  Brian Tamanaha has written a god damn book about the law school scam where he, in all likelihood, doesn't admit that he only started giving a shit about the law school scam due to the scam blogs.  In this waste of paper and ink, he is going to 1) outline the problem 2) provide a bullshit history from his perspective about how this horrendous situation came to be 3) discuss the  consequences and 4) provide his useless, feckless solutions (*Hint, Tamanaha's solution is "Let's diversify law schools by region and typology, that way not everyone has to own a Rolex to know what time it is--oh you fucking useless law professor I've seen a gay three legged donkey do a better job of impregnating a zebra than you have done at being a decent human being).

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I still hold that Tamanaha is a big bag of shit.  I know some other scambloggers think, "Oh no you're criticizing an ally, he's on our side, he's helping our cause!"  Well fuck you too you idiot.  At the end of the day, Tamanaha is still benefiting from the scam.  Except now, instead of benefiting from the perpetration of the scam he is benefiting from his "Save the Law Students!" routine (as if he is really taking a hit by taking a break--in terms of prestige, acclaim and publicity --from his vital work publishing articles on Polynesian Marital Property Division or whatever obscure, esoteric subject he used to rely on to distinguish himself from the other Professor/vampires).  

Paul Campos, the hack behind Inside the Law School Scam & perhaps only distinguishable from Tamanaha by the amount of hair that sits atop his vampire fangs, who couldn't find fame through his previous hobby horse of "Don't make fun of fat people! There are a lot of fat people! They'll buy my shit and give me fame!" has also managed to capture the lime light he has longed for as a "public intellectual."  Like Tamanaha, he too profits/benefits from the law school scam that scambloggers started.  Neither one really cares or would actually do anything to make a real difference.  No no they'll just snipe from their boxes in the fancy section of the theater.  At least the assholes like Henderson and the ABA are operating by the well established principle of "Don't Bite the Hand That Feeds You."  What's your excuse you fucking cowards?  Is practicing law at your age too hard?

There are a lot of reasons why I've gone to great lengths to keep my anonymity, one being that no one can claim I've benefited from it ala Tamana-fucktard-Campos. 

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Both Tamanaha and Campos make the same exact fucking arguments that scambloggers before my time, during my time and those who will come after my time have made about the quasi-criminal enterprise, of which, they are direct beneficiaries.  Until one of these fucking vampires quits their god damn jobs in protest, I refuse to accept that they actually care or are trying to help. No no you fucking assholes, if anything you are, in moral terms, far worse because your verbal assertions imply that you know better, but you're every day you go off to be law professors in an evil system anyway.

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The only difference between the "converted" Tamanaha-fucktard-Campos is the way that they derive value from the students (whose futures they still ruin by the way, if they're in a law school class it's too late for them).  Before the scam became readily apparent, Tamanaha-fucktard-Campos was just like every professor and administrator that they now pretend to question and decry.  Both of them shilled the bullshit for years...happily, blissfully unaware/ignorant of what happened to their "students" when they put on that stupid hat and accepted the toilet paper called a diploma.  Currently, both of them are still dependent on the student tuition dollars to pay their bills, put food on their tables and spend money buying shit they don't need as every good American consumer does (at least the ones with disposable income).  The English language fails to adequately describe my feelings towards people like Tamanaha-fucktard-Campos.  There are literally no words, so I resort to hyperbole and extreme, ridiculous examples like rapist-pedophile (which has also migrated to other scambloggers because they too find the English language lacking in descriptive ability).

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By the way, apparently I was cited in an article by some other stupid fucking law grad who can't make a living practicing law, who questioned my "tone" as radical and threatening...in the words of the author, I frequently shift "into completely violent imagery and [I am]...reminiscent of descriptions of the French Revolution."  Hey Daniel D. Barnhizer, the D I am assuming stands for Douchebag, in the words of Louis C.K the stand-up comedian who I quoted and you took out of context to make your point, "Go suck a bag of dicks!"  

There is only 1 acceptable or appropriate response to any 1L or Law School Professor, who, at any point or time, utters a sentence or forms an opinion in writing regarding the educational process of law schools, the job market for attorneys or the legal profession as a whole (*See below).
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*For 3L's/recent grads, repeat the above demonstrated process until your point is made.

Danny, do you really think this is my serious, actual person tone? Are you out of your fucking mind? If you can't read between the lines you stand even less of a chance at life than the fact you're in Michigan...oh wait you're a law professor (Sorry to my Michigan friends but you know the Dannys-of-the-world exist).

What kind of a feckless fucktard are you? Thank Christ you weren't around when a social justice movement that really mattered, i.e. slavery, suffrage, the civil rights movement.  And, yes you gigantic puckered asshole, I am comparing the law school scam to those social justice movements; if for no other reason that the Legal Profession itself likes to regularly claim it is the gatekeeper to all things good in society and civilization (so what does it say when the purporter of social good, i.e. the Legal Profession, is actually one of the most corrupt and maleficent members of that society? Damn it...questions make thinking hard...makes me want to go poopy).

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Anyway, the real reason I came to post, is that I recently read a book called Sex on the Moon by Ben Mezrich, the Facebook movie guy.  But there's one passage that struck me as extremely relevant to the law school scam.

The "protagonist" if you want to call him that or at least the main character is some poor Millenial Generation type who comes from a hard past but decides he wants to be an astronaut.  He manages to apply and is accepted to NASA's co-op program for college students.  This is one of those types of programs, like the Presidential Management Fellows that has seen a ridiculous spike in Law School Grad applicants, that your typical law student would give up their genitals to get into with today's current job market (*Go Check Out Life's Mockery to see what I mean).

Long story short, the main character is a brilliant but emotionally flawed individual who ends up hatching a scheme to steal Apollo mission moon rocks, highly illegal to even own, while he's a co-op intern.  He gets kicked out of the program plus goes to jail for 7 years after and FBI sting in Florida.

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The passage is one that Mezrich writes where the main character is on a break between his tours as a co-op at NASA and reflects on his life,

And here at NASA, he'd become this adventurous, impressive character--everyone knew who he was, everyone wanted to be around him. And yet he knew,  depp down, that it was partially an act. It was a reinvention, because deep down he was this shy, messed-up kid who'd been kicked out of his house, who'd gotten married too young, who wanted to be an astronaut but probably would never have the chance.

Lying in his bed, in the middleof the night, it was the first time he'd really let the truth resonate inside of him.  His chance of becoming an astronaut, of becoming a piece of human history like Everett Gibson--it was beyond improbable.  The odds just weren't in his favor.  He had no connections, no fallback plan, no means to compete with the kids who could pay their way through life.

And yet he was living each day as if it was just a matter of time.  He was swept up in the fantasy of being the first man on Mars--the same way he'd created the fantasy of who he now was, this adventurer, this James Bond type of character who could do anything, who would do anything.  Fantasy was his true talent.  Fantasy had always been his true talent, the cloak he'd wrapped himself in to protect him from the things he couldn't control.

Little did the main character know that he was one of several thousand other kids just like him at law schools thinking the exact same thoughts and feeling the exact same way...except the stuff they were doing as potential lawyers wasn't nearly as cool.

Till Next Time!!! YOU MOTHERFUCKING, SCUMSUCKING, VAMPIRE LAW PROFESSORS CAN GET AIDS AND DIE!!! I DO WHAT I WANT!!!!