This blog is about living the American Dream at the dawn of the new millennium! I am a nameless, mid-20s, bottom 150 Law School Graduate who finds himself marginally attached and awash in a sea of overeducated but underpaid, indentured peers who feel, and were, duped by the promise of a better life through debt and modern chemistry. Let's get to the point. The Law School Industrial Complex is a scam that has destroyed a generation out of greed. Vendettas were once legal and the pursuit of one was seen not only as moral, but necessary. This newly minted lawyer is going to continue the practice. DON'T GO TO LAW SCHOOL YOU MORONS! Ce qui suit est ce qui reste!

Thursday, November 29, 2012

New Numbers! The Rats Scramble!

Holy shitballs!!!  Christmas, Chanukah, Kwanza and whatever the fuck Tom Cruise does all came early this year!!

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1L attendance the lowest it's been in decades saving tens of thousands of young people's lives from ending up like this fellow poor bastard.
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I consider this good news for one simple fact, there are now tens of thousands of young people who escaped the fate of so many of us.  What is better than going to law school? Fucking anything.  Literally anything would be a better idea.  

"What about doing nothing?  Surely something is better than nothing. Would you have me do nothing?," you say.

"Yes you magnificent bastard do nothing!  Nothing is fucking top tits!," is what I and anyone with a soul who doesn't directly profit from the status quo many others say.

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Now how does the scam respond now that these facts come to life?  As one person notes if you were to spread out this loss across the board for all ABA accredited rape factories schools it's over a million dollar hit (I guess no more subsidized admin perks?).  That's a shit ton of money in the real world.  I wonder if this matters...How could I find out more?

I know let's ask an expert, learned lawyer with the highest integrity and nothing to lose...a shill for the scam...I mean a Dean.

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*Pictured above, the typical law school Dean, and much like this devil they're totally ok with fucking kids (metaphorically of course, except when they get caught actually fucking kids in a sexual way...or in the case of this one just fantasizing about it).

Now we've gone and done it...we grabbed the tiger's tail and now they've sent in the best of the best.  The Seal Team Six of Scammers.  You've guessed it, they've brought out the Dean of Case Western Reserve.  Case Western Law, you know a school that every aspiring child who dreams of being the next Darrow attends because they know that educational brand will be the thing that molds them into the next great lawyer completely sucks (hint hint, they all do).  Jesus Christ, the New York Times really is going downhill if this guy can just publish whatever the hell he wants as an opinion editorial.  There's so many other useful things that could have been said in that space with that many readers...but now you give it to this jackass.

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Oh wait, this basically sums up every law school profiteer and what should become the appropriate response. 

His argument is as valid as an obese toddler who demands a 4th helping of fried chicken from a retarded parent on a Dr Phil.

Does the dean make good points?  Persuasive arguments?  The corollary that law school insinuates in its structure and presentation is that their law school professors and deans are the "best" in the skill set.  For example, if you walked into a kids karate studio, the teacher should be able to kick the shit out of most students.  So is this what we get in persuasive argument from the Dean?

Not really...as Matt beat me to it, if one bases his or her thinking on factual logic--then this guy is full of shit. 

How full of shit?  It even draws the ridicule of a mainstream website that doesn't really have anything to do with the legal industry (except when it points out how fucked recent grads are).  

When it's that bad, should I even do one of my typical take downs?  No not really.

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Till Next Time!!! Let Justice Be Done Though the Heavens Fall!!!

Sunday, November 25, 2012

What I've Really Learned: Three Years Later

"Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it." ~ Dr. Bill Cosby

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"A population weakened and exhausted by battling against so many obstacles -- whose needs are never satisfied and desires never fulfilled -- is vulnerable to manipulation and regimentation. The struggle for survival is, above all, an exercise that is hugely time-consuming, absorbing and debilitating. If you create these ''anti-conditions,'' your rule is guaranteed for a hundred years." ~ Ryszard Kapuscinski

Well my darlings, it has been three years since I escaped from law school. I blogged about my experiences and the scam known as law school for over a year. And I took a deliberate six month break which has been fantastic for a number of reasons.

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First, it's been wonderful to not think about lawyering in any way, shape, or form.  It's fucking exhausting and depressing once you fully understand the nature and scope of what you're blogging about.  Of course, the enemy relies on this weakness, but, fuck it I've done the minimum a charitable party could say I did for the "cause."

Second, and expanding on the last thought, despite anyone's best efforts with a blog--even as a background source for a "mainstream news article"--it matters little in the broader scheme of the collapse of a long-standing, well respected and prestigious profession the "legal services" industry.  No matter what anyone says or does, there just are no fucking jobs anywhere for the vast majority of anyone (yes plucky voter, despite what the Obama campaign said--I voted for him so fuck you--but he's not a secret Muslim, socialist wizard and this phenomenon exist regardless of who occupies the executive).  I can give you anecdotal evidence and stories from friends and acquaintances from a wide variety of backgrounds, whether that example is from the most successful-should-be-ruling-the-world type or can barely read.

Everyone is in survival mode.  Not a "oh where other people see risk I see opportunity" survival mode, but literally fuck you I'll drink your blood to stave off death survival mode (Ohhh but look at Axiom--fuck you asshat there can be only one).

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Third, and most importantly, my attendance at law school, passing the bar, and becoming a "counselor-of-law" really doesn't matter in the grand scheme of my life.  In fact, the people that I have known in similar circumstances to mine, and in fact the most successful "lawyers" I know regardless of age, follow the the same track.

Law is something they do, it's not who they are.  It took a long time and a lot of effort for me to come around to realize that fact (something that seem particularly hard for "professions").

If you're a go-getter, type-A personality, and under 27 years old, without having done something equivalent to serving in a combat position in a theater of war like Afghanistan, who is sure in his/her heart of hearts that they "need to be a lawyer"...then just fucking kill yourself now and save the rest of us the trouble.

Just do it now and save everyone the trouble.  It doesn't get better.

If you go to law school today, with the writing on the wall in the way that it is, you're a fucking moron and deserve everything you get.

Not only is the Emperor not wearing clothes, he's slapping his bare, sweaty nutsack in your face as he screams, "Look at my tender nuts! Smell my tender nuts!"

And really when it reaches that point, you only have yourself to blame for the predicament you chose.  It may be the only time you ever see me agree with a Law School Dean.

When I "graduated" and entered the real world of the legal services industry I looked and felt like this:

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After all that time now I'm rolling like this:

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The shift was caused by a couple of different things:

1) Employment/career outside of the legal services industry (returning to what I love rather than what I thought I would love - the law)

2) Psychologically reflecting on the experience as a whole (blogging and writing my thoughts down without an audience)

3) The passing of time and letting go (living).

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So why did I start Outside Lies Magic?














*See above for the idealistic end of the spectrum.


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*See above for realistic end of the spectrum.

Christ son, I don't know.  Suffice to say that this is literally the ending of my blogging time (no more breaks or shit that's just it).  I should have disappeared into the ether like many who came onto the series of tubes before me; but my personality likes a bookend to any beginning.

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Let me be clear.  I benefited from this activity, not admitting that would be disingenuous.  From my perspective, the greatest benefit I think I've derived from scamblogging has been the sense of community.

Of course, and disappointingly so, the optimism that I sense we all had at the beginning in this endeavor--that things would change for the better and for the right reasons--has since gone.  I'm talking around 2008-2009, when a lot of the first scamblogs started popping up and no one was covering it in any real way (so prospective Zero Lemmings could only find someone disparaging Law School on one of those blogs).

The reality of the grind has taken its place.  People and institutions, no matter how lofty they aspire to be, are still grounded in reality.  They don't change for the reasons they should.  Law schools, and demonic learned administrators that keep them and the broader scam alive, haven't stopped destroying lives through debt and other methods (which I've covered here).

I don't think that even the boldest amongst the type of criminals that literally said torture was ok but said that Law School critics are right upstanding pillars who claim to have "acknowledged the situation," see Hastings and others, aren't really genuine in their sentiment.  If they were, they wouldn't take such half ass measures--this is just hedging behavior.

Since I first posted, there have even been some converts *See Tamanaha and Campos--both of whom have surprised me, less Tamanaha and more so in the case of Campos.

Fuck those nerds, back to me.  Scamblogging helped me understand that it wasn't my fault, that I wasn't alone, and that there were others out there going through the same thing or far worse than I ever could.

Others had fucked up like me, but I did everything right!, and that made it easier for me to personally cope and move on (for some fucked up reason).

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There a literally a million different people who felt the same way about a million different things.

This has just been my insane ramblings about my own experiences and in no way is my life truly as "hard" or "difficult" as others.  Some of my posts have been better than others, but it comes down to the same core things.

Emotionally and practically, I've moved past law school.  I've done a lot of "beware the ides of march" to Zero Lemmings both online and in the real world to varying success (which I feel was my main goal in all of this).

My last post(s) will contain some of my parting thoughts for those of you still reading.

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Till next time!!! FUCK YOU PAY ME!!! PARTING THOUGHTS!!!

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Angry Future Expatriates

Happy Graduation Season! Welcome to the Suck! 

It's funny but when I started this blog amongst many other scamblogs you would almost never see the kind of material, look down, in widely read or main stream publications.  Now everyone is waking up to the nightmare.   Well, except of course for Brian Tamanaha's blog--as he has posited on this very blog before he alone was the solely upright Laoco├Ân warning all Zero Lemmings to be wary of Greeks bearing gifts...psst still a cryptonazi of moral failing--

It'd be funny if it wasn't so sad.  Is there a point where humor turns to sadness then comes out the other side as humor again? 

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For the accurate path of your future see the full comic

By the way, I used to think I was crazy, but there was an even more prophetic crazier blogger named Angry Future Expat, now defunct and likely fled the country, who warned of exactly this kind of future.  Angry Future was a small business owner that did the honorable thing and tried to keep his business going when the recession hit.  He had this strange affinity for what he had created himself and a dedication to his employees.  Employees not support staff, take note Dewey & LeBefucked.




Someone in this quasi-documentary should be a Tier 1 grad lawyer who lost his/her job to a bot using predictive coding, but that'd be too realistic.  Stuff that's too realistic always loses in the American market out to the fantasy, see Wyatt Earp v Tombstone, Deep Impact v Armageddon, et. al.  Why the hell do you think that higher ed can still keep going?  

Billions of dollars spent on a pipe dream sold by higher educational institutions who knew what they were doing - fine. 


Which has done more harm to my generation, Skechers butt shoes hocked by a Kardashian or Law School Professors, Deans, and Administrators?

Well...I guess you could go either way.

Till Next Time!!! I don't care what celebrity they bribe to come to your commencement, You're Still Fucked!!!

Monday, May 7, 2012

The New Indentured Servants

Presented without comment....

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Till Next Time!!! Happy Non-Work Week Lawyers!!!  Condolences to Dewey "support staff," you know the real workers, and associate attorneys, who didn't know the right people or come from the right families to stand a good chance, for the end is nigh.

Sunday, April 29, 2012

End of the Beginning: Law School Dean Admits Scam

Well that only took two freaking years.  No really, it's been just about two years since I joined the fray.  Happy anniversary!  In that time things have really only gotten worse for the law school grads.  The scam is becoming kitchen table conversation and the ultimate victims are now going to become bargaining chips for the upcoming election.  Funny how that seems to happen.  Realistic translations of recent headlines assemble!

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First, if your ridiculously old ass wants the privilege of attending law school you're going to have to pony up more dough than when they could rake a higher volume of idiots.  You know, the same group of people that thought flea circuses were real, the Bible is literal truth, and we invaded Iraq on just pretenses (aka complete fucking morons).  It makes complete economic sense that fewer applicants means higher costs, but for you Zero Lemmings who are still intent on jumping off the cliff -- this just means you'll be throwing that much more money down the toilet.  But then again as so many of my compatriots say, I'm already at six figures who cares if I add a little more? This shit is for beyond your mortal life anyway.

Second, speaking now with an "expert" on bankruptcy and "ethics"...former "Dean," the reader may substitute the word dean here for the phrase "lying sack of quasi-criminal shit who got away with it and laughs about it all the way to the bank" as this phrase is the common tongue translation for dean.  So we're talking about Nancy B. Rapoport (the B stands for Bullshiter).

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Nancy Bullshit is here at some fucking useless conference in the most useless fucking city on God's green earth talking about the coming "possible" closure of "some" law schools.  That's not the actual question, the actual question posed is,

"Do you expect Congress to take action and amend the bankruptcy code at some point to make student debt dischargeable?"
God...no fuck it just watch the clip.



Point A, this whole interview is creepy as fuck.  They both start off with those fake camera smiles that makes them look like some kind of lobotomy patient who has a set of jingle bells dangled in front of them (also weird she's doing this interview in a body posture that looks like she is sitting on a broom--handle first).

Point B,  by "class" of law school students, Bullshiter meant to say "each and every single year of graduates" including the fucking President of the United States and not "class" as in a smaller subset of people.  Overall, she has this casual detached, I don't give a shit affect throughout the interview as if she is talking about wallpaper.  It doesn't even sound like she's talking about something she's passionate about...something you'd expect from an "expert" in something.  Well she's detached and disaffected for most of the interview...

But here comes my favorite part or as they say in poker, her Tell.  What's the old saying, if someone's lips are moving they are lying?

Notice the way that she smiles when she says the phrase, "They went into law school believing the statistics that their law schools posted..." at the 1:26 mark.  

If I've ever seen a self aware shit eating grin on a perpetrator's face it's right there.  That's the closest I've ever seen a dean actually admit they were in on the scam.  Not admit to the scam in Brian Tamanaha's hedging manner of "I have a concern about these numbers here I had better postulate and pontificate about it like the bloviating asshole of a professor I am rather than actually do anything about it."

Her body language gives it all away.  I've seen shopping mall elves lie to children better than this shameless bitch professor.
 
The students believed the statistics...Can you fucking believe that?  What kind of an asshole could have believed the shit we were shilling?

OH THAT'S RIGHT FUCKING EVERYONE BELIEVED THE STATISTICS!!!

YOU HELD THEM OUT AS FACTUAL FOR YEARS WITHOUT HAVING TO PROVIDE ANY EVIDENCE THAT YOU WEREN'T LYING THROUGH YOUR GOD DAMN TEETH!!!

GOD FORBID WE EXPECT DECENCY HONESTY AND INTEGRITY FROM A FUCKING INSTITUTION THAT BLABS ABOUT PROTECTING THE SAME FOR THE SOCIETY AS A WHOLE!!!  WHAT'S ANOTHER WORD FOR THIS OH RIGHT! ETHICS!!! MOTHERFUCKERS!!!

This is the Nixon/Frost moment for me...whereas Nixon at least had the balls to say "If the President does it then it's not a crime" Nancy Bullshiter is being tongue in cheek about the scam she benefited from for years.  Take a look kids, this is the closest you will ever see to someone ever admitting they knew what they were doing in the law school scam.

Notice the sharp intake of breath at 1:28 as she says "believing the statistics about most of our graduates get jobs and they find out low and behold even if it were true at the time it's not true now."  Fucking A.  Even if they were true at the time?!

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What the fuck?!  There's a fucking "reporter" right there and he didn't have the wherewithal to follow up on that statement? Are you fucking kidding me?!

 

Point C, Professor Brian Tamanaha---that crusading muckraker of a blogger who posted not 1 but 3, 3 whole tangential blogposts!!!! where he mentions what was going on in law schools--- and many other profiteers on the younger generation's misery have taken umbrage with my characterization of them as morally culpable, probably criminal Crypto-Nazis (to use Gore Vidal's words).  You know, shameless bags of shit.

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Quite frankly, he and the rest of the law school professors, deans and administrators who keep this shit going even as some now "criticize it" can go suck on the most Aids riddled gorilla dicks in the most remote parts of Subsaharan Africa until they literally bleed to death from their ears from crippling opportunity infections.  Words fail to describe the scenarios of my imagination.


Motherfuckers.


Nancy "Bullshit Streaming From My Pores" Rapawhore brings it back around with the astute observation "Not only can they not make their loan payments they can't make their rent." Then she slightly shrugs.

Time for her solutions.  The Northern Exposure plan? Really?  That's the best your "expert" mind can come up with?  Go out to "underserved" areas?  Fuck you bitch why don't you go out to the fucking Yukon and help people, you're the "expert" here.  I'm sure there are some moose hunters who would like to get their books in order.  I know let's wait for Congress! Good idea Nance!!  Like the companies that have a trillion dollars of money down on this scam will let Congress give people an out.  Did expert replace the word retard in our vernacular?

To close, she expects some schools will have to close but not the schools at the top top...you know the top of the heap, best of the best institutions like the William S. Boyd School of Law at the University of Nevada.  

William S. Boyd will still be bringing in the kids with the Buck Rogers, what the fuck did you just really use that phrase in a conversation, to keep going on as an elite place of learning.  This is the same city where there's a growing underground city of homeless, jobless people in a waterless desert and it happens to have the highest unemployment rate in the country.  But don't you worry when the real shit starts hitting the fan, William S. Boyd will come out on top top.  Who thinks Nancy will be around at Boyd and lose her job when that happens?

Place your bets here! Place your bets!

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Third and finally, speaking of shit hitting the fan.  What's that?!  A Law School in trouble?! They're having layoffs! They're having layoffs! They're having layoffs!!! (to be read very quickly with the tone of naner naner naner).

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What? They're firing the fucking janitors not the professors?! Son of a bitch.  Now here's where the rubber meets the road with Nancy Bullshit's prognostications.  Even if these pieces of shit who run rape mills where they destroy innocent victims futures with false promises are "negatively impacted by an unforeseen combination of marketing puffery regarding their graduates success and market economics thereby forced to right size," it won't be the professors that go first.  No no.  They'll make sure to get theirs first.  Rats always get off before passengers.

The disparity in pay at schools like Hastings between employees is ridiculous.  In the same way that 1 average American consumes the same amount of resources as about 25 Zimbabweans, 1 fired law school professor could cover, I'm guessing in the dark here, at least a couple of "staff" salaries.  But you have to protect the talent right?  Motherfuckers.

By the way, I've regularly interacted with a number of Hastings grads and I will say they're just like anyone else who goes to a school like that, pretentious douchebags.  Just kidding, not really, but I do know one kid from Hastings who sucks donkey balls as a human being.  Then again, law school isn't about making well rounded, morally upright human beings.  It's about raking in that loan money!!! Make it rain bitches!

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By the way if anyone has a problem with my sentiments, analysis or language at any point in this post, please see below.

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Till next time!!! GET ON YOUR HOLDEN CAUFIELD CAPS KIDS IT'S TIME TO WORK FOR THE UNDERSERVED, YOURSELF NOT INCLUDED!!!

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Law Profs to Face Same Kind of Unemployment as Grads?

Now is the winter of their discontent and the glorious summer of the scambloggers, well not really but I never get to use that phrase in normal conversation.  But basically I am referring to this little piece of heavenly news.

LSAT takers dropping like whoa!!!  We Shall Praise Whatever Non-Law Demon is Responsible!!!

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That's right.  Even the people who actually teach law students...no not professors...the bar prep mercenaries....are seeing the writing on the wall to quote from the article:

Steve Schwartz, an LSAT tutor, said the new LSAT figures were not a surprise, given the steady decline in the number of students seeking one-on-one tutoring.  
 

“This is a major turn of events,” he wrote of the newly reported test numbers on his LSAT Blog, “The tide is turning, folks.”

Oh yes, the tide is turning finally and I have been saying for a long time that this was my ultimate goal/what I want to start see happeningThe pieces of shit in charge, like most humans, can't or won't regulate themselves when they're still raking in the cash.  But when the customers stop buying the snake oil that'll help.  The slaughterhouses are still pumping out far far too many lawyers per year, but it's a step towards the market righting itself back to some kind of sanity. 

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Now this has been commented on to death by others, so I won't go too much into it.  I share the same thoughts as others...instead of this being the death spiral for the scam all that this really means is that you will see the quality of the students accepted into debt slavery start to drop to dangerous levels.  With the housing crisis, this meant they just were handing out mortgages to people who had no chance of ever being a homeowner.  *See below



Now with the housing crisis, it was a matter of giving it to people who didn't have enough income or assets to pay their mortgages.  Now the law schools are already doing this across the board with law degrees, in terms of giving them out to people regardless of the financial sense it made.

So who am I talking about when I say they will lower the standards to keep the law school scam going?

In a short, each graduating class will be dumber and dumber and I think you'll start to see the bar exam passage rates drop as well.  Now this has been happening in higher ed for years, so they just lowered the standards.  This led to the whole bullshit arms race that has turned the college degree of today into the high school diploma of yesteryear. 


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I'm not an elitist or anything, and I have argued the way we test for "aptitude" and "ability" throughout the legal education process is fucked in every way.  BUT the anecdotal experience at my bottom tier school, where they would take literally anyone who had a pulse and a blank check from the Feds, is that we had some powerfully stupid people in classes.  I'm talking about people who are still trying to pass a bar exam anywhere 3 or more years out, taking it twice a year for some reason.  The people I'm thinking of weren't law review types that just test poorly, they were just unfit for the practice of law from the start and no one had the decency to tell them otherwise.

Thank god the state bars have enough sense to have at least some level of hurdles to fucking up people's lives.  Imagine if the medical community operated this way.  We'd still be using leeches and believing that all sickness comes from bad odors and air for fuck's sake.


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To me, these new numbers show that the "smarter" people who would have gone off to the 20-150 ranked schools are going to avoid it all together.  They'll go off and do something else.  Now this cohort is the bulk of your practicing attorneys.  The much exulted Top Law Schoolers just fuck things up, and I intereact with these over-hyped assholes daily and trust me you wouldn't want them defending you from a murder charge.

Meanwhile, the other Zero Lemmings who are either too blind, too stupid, or too "determined" to be lawyers will still go for the scam.  And I see that classmate of mine who thought that the castle doctrine didn't make sense or shouldn't ever apply because, to quote him literally and in all serious, "No one in America lives in a castle?!"

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Say all the negative things you want about the practice of the law and legal education, and trust me I take more than enough opportunities to do so, but it's hard to be good at it if you can barely read or comprehend anything that you do manage to read.  

This is the future for the majority of "lawyers" in America.  I guess one silver lining is that it'll be harder for them to fuck things up as badly as generations of "smart" lawyers have done.

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OHHHHHHHHHHH, that's right...even though I think the "legal profession" should really be worried by this...They aren't and they won't be until it's too late just like everything else, looking at you ABA, but society will be the party that gets fucked with its pants still on.  You have to have standards in the first place to worry about the diminishing of those standards.  Without a baseline it's hard to measure how bad it has become.


When I mentioned all of this to one of my other practicing classmates, while helping him put stuff on craigslist to pay for Lexis fees, he just laughed and said the following:

"Demosthenes are you really worried about that?  In the future Americans won't have American attorneys.  They'll have to do everything via the web with their 3rd world attorneys in Mumbai or something.  The rest of us will just have to learn how to drive taxis."

I responded, "But isn't Google going to have a functional car that can drive itself on the marketplace by then?"


We then both stared at eachother in one long  fuck me moment.

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On the plus side, we got enough money to pay for his next Lexis payments by selling his personal belongings...so at least there's that.

Till Next Time!!!  Here's to a Future Where Law Profs are As Unemployed As Their Students!!!

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Here's Why Law Professors Are Evil & Generation Fantasy Camp

Well this shit just keeps getting more ridiculous.  Brian Tamanaha has written a god damn book about the law school scam where he, in all likelihood, doesn't admit that he only started giving a shit about the law school scam due to the scam blogs.  In this waste of paper and ink, he is going to 1) outline the problem 2) provide a bullshit history from his perspective about how this horrendous situation came to be 3) discuss the  consequences and 4) provide his useless, feckless solutions (*Hint, Tamanaha's solution is "Let's diversify law schools by region and typology, that way not everyone has to own a Rolex to know what time it is--oh you fucking useless law professor I've seen a gay three legged donkey do a better job of impregnating a zebra than you have done at being a decent human being).

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I still hold that Tamanaha is a big bag of shit.  I know some other scambloggers think, "Oh no you're criticizing an ally, he's on our side, he's helping our cause!"  Well fuck you too you idiot.  At the end of the day, Tamanaha is still benefiting from the scam.  Except now, instead of benefiting from the perpetration of the scam he is benefiting from his "Save the Law Students!" routine (as if he is really taking a hit by taking a break--in terms of prestige, acclaim and publicity --from his vital work publishing articles on Polynesian Marital Property Division or whatever obscure, esoteric subject he used to rely on to distinguish himself from the other Professor/vampires).  

Paul Campos, the hack behind Inside the Law School Scam & perhaps only distinguishable from Tamanaha by the amount of hair that sits atop his vampire fangs, who couldn't find fame through his previous hobby horse of "Don't make fun of fat people! There are a lot of fat people! They'll buy my shit and give me fame!" has also managed to capture the lime light he has longed for as a "public intellectual."  Like Tamanaha, he too profits/benefits from the law school scam that scambloggers started.  Neither one really cares or would actually do anything to make a real difference.  No no they'll just snipe from their boxes in the fancy section of the theater.  At least the assholes like Henderson and the ABA are operating by the well established principle of "Don't Bite the Hand That Feeds You."  What's your excuse you fucking cowards?  Is practicing law at your age too hard?

There are a lot of reasons why I've gone to great lengths to keep my anonymity, one being that no one can claim I've benefited from it ala Tamana-fucktard-Campos. 

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Both Tamanaha and Campos make the same exact fucking arguments that scambloggers before my time, during my time and those who will come after my time have made about the quasi-criminal enterprise, of which, they are direct beneficiaries.  Until one of these fucking vampires quits their god damn jobs in protest, I refuse to accept that they actually care or are trying to help. No no you fucking assholes, if anything you are, in moral terms, far worse because your verbal assertions imply that you know better, but you're every day you go off to be law professors in an evil system anyway.

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The only difference between the "converted" Tamanaha-fucktard-Campos is the way that they derive value from the students (whose futures they still ruin by the way, if they're in a law school class it's too late for them).  Before the scam became readily apparent, Tamanaha-fucktard-Campos was just like every professor and administrator that they now pretend to question and decry.  Both of them shilled the bullshit for years...happily, blissfully unaware/ignorant of what happened to their "students" when they put on that stupid hat and accepted the toilet paper called a diploma.  Currently, both of them are still dependent on the student tuition dollars to pay their bills, put food on their tables and spend money buying shit they don't need as every good American consumer does (at least the ones with disposable income).  The English language fails to adequately describe my feelings towards people like Tamanaha-fucktard-Campos.  There are literally no words, so I resort to hyperbole and extreme, ridiculous examples like rapist-pedophile (which has also migrated to other scambloggers because they too find the English language lacking in descriptive ability).

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By the way, apparently I was cited in an article by some other stupid fucking law grad who can't make a living practicing law, who questioned my "tone" as radical and threatening...in the words of the author, I frequently shift "into completely violent imagery and [I am]...reminiscent of descriptions of the French Revolution."  Hey Daniel D. Barnhizer, the D I am assuming stands for Douchebag, in the words of Louis C.K the stand-up comedian who I quoted and you took out of context to make your point, "Go suck a bag of dicks!"  

There is only 1 acceptable or appropriate response to any 1L or Law School Professor, who, at any point or time, utters a sentence or forms an opinion in writing regarding the educational process of law schools, the job market for attorneys or the legal profession as a whole (*See below).
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*For 3L's/recent grads, repeat the above demonstrated process until your point is made.

Danny, do you really think this is my serious, actual person tone? Are you out of your fucking mind? If you can't read between the lines you stand even less of a chance at life than the fact you're in Michigan...oh wait you're a law professor (Sorry to my Michigan friends but you know the Dannys-of-the-world exist).

What kind of a feckless fucktard are you? Thank Christ you weren't around when a social justice movement that really mattered, i.e. slavery, suffrage, the civil rights movement.  And, yes you gigantic puckered asshole, I am comparing the law school scam to those social justice movements; if for no other reason that the Legal Profession itself likes to regularly claim it is the gatekeeper to all things good in society and civilization (so what does it say when the purporter of social good, i.e. the Legal Profession, is actually one of the most corrupt and maleficent members of that society? Damn it...questions make thinking hard...makes me want to go poopy).

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Anyway, the real reason I came to post, is that I recently read a book called Sex on the Moon by Ben Mezrich, the Facebook movie guy.  But there's one passage that struck me as extremely relevant to the law school scam.

The "protagonist" if you want to call him that or at least the main character is some poor Millenial Generation type who comes from a hard past but decides he wants to be an astronaut.  He manages to apply and is accepted to NASA's co-op program for college students.  This is one of those types of programs, like the Presidential Management Fellows that has seen a ridiculous spike in Law School Grad applicants, that your typical law student would give up their genitals to get into with today's current job market (*Go Check Out Life's Mockery to see what I mean).

Long story short, the main character is a brilliant but emotionally flawed individual who ends up hatching a scheme to steal Apollo mission moon rocks, highly illegal to even own, while he's a co-op intern.  He gets kicked out of the program plus goes to jail for 7 years after and FBI sting in Florida.

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The passage is one that Mezrich writes where the main character is on a break between his tours as a co-op at NASA and reflects on his life,

And here at NASA, he'd become this adventurous, impressive character--everyone knew who he was, everyone wanted to be around him. And yet he knew,  depp down, that it was partially an act. It was a reinvention, because deep down he was this shy, messed-up kid who'd been kicked out of his house, who'd gotten married too young, who wanted to be an astronaut but probably would never have the chance.

Lying in his bed, in the middleof the night, it was the first time he'd really let the truth resonate inside of him.  His chance of becoming an astronaut, of becoming a piece of human history like Everett Gibson--it was beyond improbable.  The odds just weren't in his favor.  He had no connections, no fallback plan, no means to compete with the kids who could pay their way through life.

And yet he was living each day as if it was just a matter of time.  He was swept up in the fantasy of being the first man on Mars--the same way he'd created the fantasy of who he now was, this adventurer, this James Bond type of character who could do anything, who would do anything.  Fantasy was his true talent.  Fantasy had always been his true talent, the cloak he'd wrapped himself in to protect him from the things he couldn't control.

Little did the main character know that he was one of several thousand other kids just like him at law schools thinking the exact same thoughts and feeling the exact same way...except the stuff they were doing as potential lawyers wasn't nearly as cool.

Till Next Time!!! YOU MOTHERFUCKING, SCUMSUCKING, VAMPIRE LAW PROFESSORS CAN GET AIDS AND DIE!!! I DO WHAT I WANT!!!!

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Higher Ed Literally a Punch Line

I know this is supposed to be funny, but it's really just accurate





How sad is that shit?

Watch out for the law school segment, someone's been paying attention.

Till Next Time!!! If you believe in Higher Ed, You might as well believe in galactic overlord of Scientology!!!

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Shit's Still Bad: It's An Update!

What a glorious break, and no I'm not back to blogging.  Instead I am winding down. For you 2L and 3L literally the dumbest motherfuckers on the entire planet law students, depending on where you go, you'll cover that term in your corporate law.  Don't worry you'll only ever use it on an exam as no corporation will ever hire you to do anything for them.  As for me, it's time to hang up the keyboard for this shit.

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If for no other reason it does wonders for my mental health.  I'll probably coincide my last posts to match my first posts about 2 years ago now.  It's hard to believe that it's almost been 3 years since I put on that stupid little fucking hat and was handed that useless piece of paper.  The psychological wounds that could heal have done so by now, especially after the bar exam, and I've started to normalize again.  For my fellow graduates you know what I mean when I say "normalize" back to your pre-law personalities.  For my fellow graduates who don't know what I mean, you're the kind of asshole that we all hated in class and the general public hates.  Congratulations, I'm sure you'll be a professor someday (since I've started blogging, I've actually come to respect rapists more than law professors because at least rapists put in effort and run the risk of getting caught--that's a horrific un-p.c. joke I don't believe in any way so don't send me emails you feminazis you'd miss the point of the comment--also I was raped...that's another joke...or is it?).

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As for the financial and career wounds, HA, no no no there's no healing those.  Those are there for life and if I had to do it all over again I would have never done it, in fact I probably would have burned down my law building with all of the professors and career services people inside of it so that I could save others of the same fate.  Literally anything would have been better.

I met up with an old friend from high school who has been working as a volunteer for various non-profits then began working in national parks as a ranger.  Sure it's not a Wall Street gig or BigLaw position with all of the prestige and "compensation."  But in all honesty, I know he enjoys his life a fuck lot more than my friends who have those kinds of jobs.  They're all miserable and focused on their exit plans if they have some sliver of humanity in them.  The ones who love that kind of shit are the kind of people that you could replace Adolf Hitler with in the "If I had a time machine and would go back to kill one person" scenarios.

When we caught up at the home bar, all I could think of was why the fuck didn't I think of that?  Hell I still think I should do that.  At least I'd enjoy my daily grind and be outside, but no I had to stick with the paper chase.

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And now I'm back here no better really than where I began.  In fact, but for sheer luck, law school would have ruined me and has set me back in permanent adolescence.  But fortunately, unlike many of my classmates I went back to the industry I was in before law school where my "multi-use" law degree was worth absolute shit.  The law school experience did nothing but teach me to endure suffering.  I guess that was worth the $150,000.  Nothing else I could have done with that...nothing at all.

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I have plenty of more shit I could say but what's the point when almost every mainstream media outlet has started to ask the questions they should have asked years ago and the lemmings are catching on.  I also love to watch the modern equivalent of nazi sympathizers, appeasers and quislings law professors and supports of the scam continue to hedge and lay the blame and responsibility anywhere but it's natural place.  Talk about offensive, the best argument they can come up with is Blame the Victim.  Say what you will, but I believe with every fiber of my being that nothing I have ever put on here is more offensive and destructive to a civil and just society than that kind of thinking.


Time to go meta on my "what does this all mean" answer in brief.  This was the inevitable conclusion of a generational experiment, and generational theft, that has played out to be a complete failure for its intended/supposed beneficiaries.  A similar point was also made in this rather accurate article from New York magazine, "The Kids Are Actually Sort of Alright."  The one bone I would pick with this article is the political approach implied throughout the article--we've turned into a generation of feckless, shiftless whiners who won't stick with shit any longer than it's popular (like writing this blog).  Occupy Wall Street turned out to be a temporary blip with a few holdouts, not the overwhelming shift I was hoping for.  If the Baby Boomers found themselves where the Millennials are right now, when the boomers were the same age, they would have torn the country apart.  Now my generation probably won't even fucking vote this fall then wonder why they still keep getting fucked.  Arab Spring--American Autumn my fucking balls.


In the end, this old bit from Father Sarducci is not far off from what higher education has become--a joke.  At it's best, it's a single person playing a slot machine and wins for unknown reason and chance.  At its worst it's a life and dream wrecking fantasy camp for an entire generation that will never be as competitive as it should have rightfully been.



The only difference is that instead of costing $20 it's costing $200,000.  Last posts a-coming!


Till Next Time!!! Watch that bubble burst as shit goes mainstream!!!