This blog is about living the American Dream at the dawn of the new millennium! I am a nameless, mid-20s, bottom 150 Law School Graduate who finds himself marginally attached and awash in a sea of overeducated but underpaid, indentured peers who feel, and were, duped by the promise of a better life through debt and modern chemistry. Let's get to the point. The Law School Industrial Complex is a scam that has destroyed a generation out of greed. Vendettas were once legal and the pursuit of one was seen not only as moral, but necessary. This newly minted lawyer is going to continue the practice. DON'T GO TO LAW SCHOOL YOU MORONS! Ce qui suit est ce qui reste!

Thursday, June 30, 2011

This Would Be Funnier If It Weren't True

Fellow Federalist Society nerds who disagree with the cartoonist!! Assemble in the comments to eat out Scalia's &!@!$*& in sycophantic admiration!!!!

This is the same Supreme Court that is also led by a closeted homosexual with Aryanish test tube babies according to some a man who reads a poem every year by Samuel Johnson entitled "The Vanity of Human Wishes" because that's the kind of reading material you really want the literal figurehead of "justice" to read on ceremony.  Also Scalia refuses to ever ever discuss the Bush decision (fun reading in Toobin's The Nine, the Bush v Gore decision made Breyer Ice Cream cry for days).

Till Next Time!!! The Supreme Court is Fucking the Warren Court's Dead Corpses!!!

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

I Can't Do This Anymore: You Deserve It

It's reached a point where I am starting to believe that the vast majority of these Zero Lemmings get what they deserve.  Over the past several months, I have had numerous conversations with a number of young, under 24 year old, retards prospective law students who are totally committed to going to law school.  If they honestly want to ignore all of the data both quantitative and qualitative and fuck their futures and their spirits, then I say go ahead I hope you prove me wrong (but I know that the vast vast majority of you won't prove me wrong & may likely end up on the end of a hangman's noose or an overdose of Rx drugs).


A lot of the scambloggers continue to harp on the employment numbers and the complete lack of jobs.  I would think that would be enough to dissuade people who have any form of rational thinking in their decision making paradigm.  I remember one of these "Beware the Ides of March" conversations I've had since I left law school with a bartender who was considering law school.  After about 5 minutes of telling him what's actually going on, he thanked me said he had no idea and would not consider leaving his job, making more than about 99.9% of the law grads from my graduating year, for something that awful.

But let's think of it this way.  Let's say we're totally wrong and you the plucky Zero Lemming will go to law school, pass the bar and make a great paycheck!!!!  Congratulations!!!! You're the winner!!!!

Except for one small don't know what the practice of law is actually like in the real world.

What I feel like when I see a zero lemming, you tell me which kid I identify with here.

One of the points I've consistently made is that even IF the job market were reliable with jobs that could provide a living wage, your life is going to suck.  Because the practice of law sucks.

Out of the hundreds of attorneys I know, have worked with, or have encountered, I can count the truly happy and fulfilled ones on a single hand.  Everyone else burns out or quits and it's just a matter of time.  

Regardless of specialty, school, or success---the meat grinder wears lawyers down.  Even before the Great Recession, which by the way had little to nothing to do with the loss of legal jobs, the internal research was showing that the average lawyer quit their first job within 2 years and had left the "practice" of law within 10.  The ones who stay in the practice do so out of a combination of necessity or a lack of imagination/courage.


I have a friend who has one of those jobs that all of the Zero Lemmings think they're going to get and the law schools love to talk about.  Let's keep it anonymous.  Big law firm in a major city making well over $150,000 a year.  Guess what?  Miserable and over worked.  What do I mean overworked?  I'm not talking oh god I had a long day doing doc review all day, I mean 20 hour days 5 or 6 days a week.  My friend's plan is to do this until the debt is paid off and then looking for a second career.  Total length of practice time at the big law firm?  So far it's been about the same amount of time as it took to get the law degree.

But I am often disheartened by the fact that none of you idiots listen to people trying to help you.  Whether it's family members, strangers, or other practicing attorneys we tried to warn you as best we can but you think you're going to be awesome.  I feel like this is as close to being a crisis counselor as I'll ever get.  Each of these conversations is a metaphor to someone standing on a bridge holding the emergency phone while I try to talk them back from the ledge.  But rather than sounding depressed or morose they are so excited to hit the water.  

You're not unique or special, you're a statistic.  The kind of statistic scambloggers use to prove a point.  You could be more, you should have been more, but you made a shitty decision for all the wrong reasons.


I've thought of a lot of structural changes that would need to happen for things to go well and to prevent this fate for so many, but I don't ever see it happening.  The ABA certainly isn't going to do it.  Paring down class sizes by the numbers that the schools are actually doing might touch on the overproduction in a few decades if they were all doing it until the numbers actually matched the need and the population.  Besides it's in the schools economic interest to keep the scam going, it's way way too profitable as long as you idiots keep wanting to go.  So that leaves it up to the individual.  When I went to school there wasn't really even the term scamblog and you didn't have major media outlets questioning law school on a regular basis as they do today.  I know I was someone who had no good reason to go to law school or have anything to do with the profession, but it's too late for me.  You still have a chance you fucking imbeciles.

Dealing with Zero Lemmings is as if Scrooge just said "Fuck off," to the spirit of his dead partner who amazingly came back from the grave solely to save his quasi-friend.  The whole reason why A Christmas Carol is amazing and has survived for so many years in so many adaptations is that most of us don't get a Marley moment, a second chance to avoid a terrible fate.  Not for the Zero Lemming, they are the type who would have told Marley to Fuck Off.  I'm done with you morons.

Till Next Time!!! Go Play a Nice Game of Hide and Go Fuck Yourself!!!

Friday, June 24, 2011

Another Useless Degree

Since BIDER showcased one for Law Schools, I thought I'd add this one about PhD's.

My favorite bits are right up front:

21% of retards kids are going on to grad school

58% have to be supported on some level by parents

440% increase in cost for the same degree in the past 25 years

Just under half drop out by 3rd year with no Degree


Notice what the woman at the Law Degree sign is wearing?
(**Hint - it's Starbucks apron implying that she is serving coffee not motions)


Mail back the acceptance form later this summer and that could be you too Zero Lemmings!!!

Till Next Time!!! Feed the Rich, Go to School Today!!!

Friday, June 10, 2011

Now They're Going to Screw the Africans, Again

You know, a lot of the scambloggers and other students facing 6 figure debt are rightly pissed at being defrauded and indebted by the unprosecuted criminals in the Cartel/Higher Education Industrial Complex.

But this really puts it into context for me at what the future holds, not just the DOE coming with SWAT teams to collect on your defaulting ass.


Not content to only ruin/run the lives of the indentured educated on this continent, now the ivory towers are going to be waging war on literally some of the poorest people on the planet.

Here's the full story


Harvard and other major American universities are working through British hedge funds and European financial speculators to buy or lease vast areas of African farmland in deals, some of which may force many thousands of people off their land, according to a new study.

My first thought is why the fuck does Harvard and other universities want to own land in Africa?  Then I realized....


This is a fascinating development.  I'd be willing to bet you a shiny buffalo nickel that at some point in the future you're going to see universities using these massive land purchases as "real world laboratories" for their students in the fields of agriculture, biology, international development, etc.  Or they may not be that inventive, and just use it as a major money making venture for the coming food shortage. 

Hey! Why don't we use the same techniques with food production that we used with financial products and derivatives!!! Nothing bad happened because of that!!!

The new report on land acquisitions in seven African countries suggests that Harvard, Vanderbilt and many other US colleges with large endowment funds have invested heavily in African land in the past few years. Much of the money is said to be channelled through London-based Emergent asset management, which runs one of Africa's largest land acquisition funds, run by former JP Morgan and Goldman Sachs currency dealers.

Researchers at the California-based Oakland Institute think that Emergent's clients in the US may have invested up to $500m in some of the most fertile land in the expectation of making 25% returns.


I also guaran-fucking-tee you that they will use the same kind of spin and public relations language the King Leopold of Belgium used when describing his raping and pillaging in the Congo.  Oh wait here we go...

Emergent said the deals were handled responsibly. "Yes, university endowment funds and pension funds are long-term investors," a spokesman said. "We are investing in African agriculture and setting up businesses and employing people. We are doing it in a responsible way … The amounts are large. They can be hundreds of millions of dollars. This is not landgrabbing. We want to make the land more valuable. Being big makes an impact, economies of scale can be more productive."


Yes, because American Universities have done such a fantastic job "investing" and "employing" their own graduates at home I'm sure we should be exporting it.  You know Subprime regularly covers financial data and commodities like gold and silver etc.  I thoroughly enjoy reading those posts as well as his perspective. 

However, all of that shit is worthless compared to the coming fight for basic Food and Water.  Similarly, in Africa this has been going on for years to little or no attention being paid.

I'm just fascinated by the universities getting in on this as well.  I guess it would be similar to defense contractors in the military industrial complex like Lockheed Martin expanding beyond their big moneymaker into other markets and products.  I mean Harvard is going to be launching it's own fashion line.

So where does business end and education begin in today's world? 


"We have seen cases of speculators taking over agricultural land while small farmers, viewed as squatters, are forcibly removed with no compensation," said Frederic Mousseau, policy director at Oakland, said: 

"This is creating insecurity in the global food system that could be a much bigger threat to global security than terrorism. More than one billion people around the world are living with hunger. The majority of the world's poor still depend on small farms for their livelihoods, and speculators are taking these away while promising progress that never happens."

Till Next Time!!!  We are all pawns on a chess board!!!

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

You and Your Parents Are Retards

Speaking of academics trying to "study shit to understand shit," there comes this release out of Georgetown studying what the true "value" of a college degree is according to their research.  Here's a link to the whole webpage they devoted specifically to this study.


Now let's ignore the fact that this comes from the same institution whose traditionally prestigious law school was featured as having 1 in 3 be completely fucked in the ass unable to find legal employment.

Not surprisingly the Hoyas didn't turn that critical inquiry onto their own programs or graduate degrees.

Some of my favorites are this:

The top 10 majors with the highest median earnings are: Petroleum Engineer ($120,000); Pharmacy/pharmaceutical Sciences and Administration ($105,000); Mathematics and Computer Sciences ($98,000); Aerospace Engineering ($87,000); Chemical Engineering ($86,000); Electrical Engineering ($85,000); Naval Architecture and Marine Engineering ($82,000); Mechanical Engineering, Metallurgical Engineering and Mining and Mineral Engineering (each with median earnings of $80,000).

Do you see Law right up there at the very top?....Oh wait...nevermind.


How about at the bottom of the heap?

The 10 majors with the lowest median earnings are: Counseling/Psychology ($29,000); Early Childhood Education ($36,000); Theology and Religious Vocations ($38,000); Human Services and Community Organizations ($38,000); Social Work ($39,000); Drama and Theater Arts, Studio Arts, Communication Disorders Sciences and Services, Visual and Performing Arts, and Health and Medical Preparatory Programs (each at $40,000).

So essentially, if your degree has anything even remotely related to the flourishing of the human spirit or helping people realize their full potential in terms of what it means to be a might as well go into porn because that's the only "human" element anyone gives a fuck about.

In today‟s challenging jobs economy, there are some fields with virtually no unemployment: Geological and Geophysical Engineering; Military Technologies; Pharmacology, and School Student Counseling. 

While majors with the highest unemployment rates are in the fields of: Social Psychology (16 percent); Nuclear Engineering (11 percent); and Educational Administration and Supervision (11 percent).


As the potential "good watering holes" for employment and earnings get out, you'll see more people flock to it which is a point I've made about pharmacists for some time as many see the future of that profession going the way of the law.

Well what about those sad useless fucks intrepid future zero lemmings who major in pre-law?   


Well I'm sure that the reason why law is in the lower-middle of the heap is because you need that JD, LLM & bar license to realize the full earning potential at the end of the path?!


Guess what the point of this and other scamblogs are?

Till Next Time!!! Watch out the Dept of Education Be Knocking Down Your Door For that Money!!!

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Requiem for a Generation: How They Fuck Themselves

It's reaching a point, where this makes little to no sense anymore.  Although the following is the only explanation for the kind of Lemming phenomenon I have observed amongst the prospective or "future" law students.


So, a bunch of academics who try to "learn shit" studied 3,079 "young adults" about debt in the college and grad school attendees out there today.  The results were striking.  The researchers looked at 2 types of debt: loans taken out to pay for college, and total credit-card debt.

But here are the findings that make me want to put a rope around my neck  some depressing highlights:

"Debt can be a good thing for young people – it can help them achieve goals that they couldn't otherwise, like a college education," said Rachel Dwyer, lead author of the study and assistant professor of sociology at Ohio State University."

Maybe if it is manageable and leads to an actual "ROI" as some people call it, which I hate because it turns this whole thing into a financial decision only as if we're betting, which is how the very first insurance companies began in England, on what the likely outcome will be...which is how we got into this Recession in the first place.


"Debt can be a positive resource for young adults, but it comes with some significant dangers,' Dwyer said. 'Young people seem to view debt mostly in just positive terms rather than as a potential burden.'"

They looked at how both forms of debt were related to people's self-esteem and sense of mastery – their belief that they were in control of their life, and that they had the ability to achieve their goals.

Guess why there's little to no hope for the future? 

"Surprisingly, though, we found that both kinds of debt had positive effects for young people. It didn't matter the type of debt, it increased their self-esteem and sense of mastery."


So all of these years of "positivity," or the Mister Rogers' effect as some call it where adults telling even the retarded kids that they are special and everyone is an accomplished/talented winner, combined with the broken record of "You're making a fantastic investment in yourself and your future" by going to college and beyond has turned this generation into a bunch of narcissistic, brainwashed zombies....good to know.

Some young people may be using credit card debt to help finance their college education – for items like textbooks -- which is why they may see it as a positive, she said. But there is no way to know that from the data.  'Obviously, they are probably using credit cards for multiple purposes. Along with education spending, they could be using credit cards to pay for non-essential items. They may feel good about their debt only because it allows them to buy the things they want without having to delay gratification.'"

Let me repeat that because it bears repeating.  The younglings frequently called the "Millenial" generation see debt as a positive thing.  I have previously talked about the Eeyore Lemming but this takes it to a whole new level.  This is a real world lemming scenario.

Results showed that those in the bottom 25 percent in total family income got the largest boost from holding debt – the more debt they held, both education and credit card, the bigger the positive impact on their self-esteem and mastery.


Those in the middle class didn't see any impact on their self-esteem and mastery by holding educational debt, perhaps because it is so common among their peers that it is seen as normal. But they did see boosts from holding credit-card debt – the more debt, the more positive effects.

On the other hand, the study found that young adults who came from the most affluent families received no boost at all from holding debt.


So the people who are the most hurt by going into massive debt are the ones who derive the most positive satisfaction.  That is a suicidal feedback loop.  I just can't anymore.

"By age 28, they may be realizing that they overestimated how much money they were going to earn in their jobs. When they took out the loans, they may have thought they would pay off their debts easily, and it is turning out that it is not as easy as they had hoped," Dwyer said.


Till Next Time!!! Someone Get Me My Fiddle This Shit Be Burning Down!!!