This blog is about living the American Dream at the dawn of the new millennium! I am a nameless, mid-20s, bottom 150 Law School Graduate who finds himself marginally attached and awash in a sea of overeducated but underpaid, indentured peers who feel, and were, duped by the promise of a better life through debt and modern chemistry. Let's get to the point. The Law School Industrial Complex is a scam that has destroyed a generation out of greed. Vendettas were once legal and the pursuit of one was seen not only as moral, but necessary. This newly minted lawyer is going to continue the practice. DON'T GO TO LAW SCHOOL YOU MORONS! Ce qui suit est ce qui reste!

Sunday, January 9, 2011

The Eeyore Lemming

Well my lovelies, I feel that the scam busting movement has finally jumped the shark (just go to everyone else's blog for the coverage).  I myself, began Outside Lies Magic for the same reason as many of my other fellow scam busters (although my dedication has been slipping as of late).  It takes a lot of dedication and repetition for this kind of message to get out.  Hey! Look the emperor has no clothes!  But eventually I'll lose my voice from all the yelling.

I love my fellow bloggers over at Third Tier Reality, BIDER, Shilling Me Softly, just look to the left, but I just can't stand to open up the wound of law school and the law school industrial complex.  I'm sure I'll revisit to post occasionally but let me give you this story to see what I mean.

I was at a friend's party over Christmas party last week and someone introduced a 22 year old who wanted to go to law school and my friend thought that she should talk to me.  When this kind of thing used to happen back in 2009, I would go all Southern Baptist Hellfire and Brimstone on them try to put the fear of reality God into them.  Now I just don't care as much as I've had the conversation dozens of times with only one or two actually taking what I say to heart.  The others are suffering from the Zero Lemming Blindness, and we know what happens with that. *See below

This time I was very low key and just asked some basic factual questions to open up the conversation and give me a guess of the level of crazy I'd be dealing with here.  College GPA, LSAT score, Schools Accepted, etc.  The person had been out of college for a little over a year and like the College Humor clip, it turns out that we've created a generation of people who cannot exist outside of the academic womb.   Even though he had a job making over 50,000 a year, he said that her debt situation was hopeless because he went to one of those fancy schools with a shitty sports program (over 200K of loans the interest which he'll never be able to pay down).  The whole time I was very low key and just asking questions.  When he offered me this gem:

"I know it doesn't really make sense, but I don't know what else to do with my life if I don't go to law school.  I don't know what I would be."

For some reason, a scene from the movie Doctor Zhivago came into my head with Alec Guinness' smooth voice saying, "Happy men don't volunteer. They wait their turn, and thank god if their age or work delays it."  Then the character Pasha hands his infant daughter to Lara and signs up to fight at the Eastern Front in WWI.  Pasha survived physically but those of you familiar with the story know that Pasha becomes the dreaded, insane Strelnikov who eventually takes his own life after committing countless atrocities.

Did I look at this poor kid and make the same comparison? No not exactly.  But the sense of hopelessness and loss that I could tell from the honest conversation made me rethink what I have been doing for some time.  I used to think that the majority of Zero Lemmings were cocky, arrogant, self sure idiots.

This was the first time I had encountered what I'm calling the Eeyore Lemming

He went on to tell me how much he loved his school days and it became clear that the only sense of himself that he had came from being a high achiever in the classroom.  No girlfriend, or boyfriend, liked a few tv shows and movies, didn't really have any passions or hobbies.  Just existed.

When I asked what kind of law he wanted to practice, he said one of those categories that only a Zero Lemming or a PR video from some shithole rapist prestigious law school could come up with like Constitutional, Space, or Human Rights.  I've reached the point in my thinking now, where I wonder whether this kind of behavior could constitute some new kind of mental disorder.  I mean I know they've eliminated Narcissistic Personality Disorder as something that should terrify the everloving fuck out of any enlightened society because it's too prevalent that should be treated, but I think we could add this kind of behavior in there to kill a few more trees.

Here's a kid who seems perfectly normal but yet found himself in an insane situation:

1) Go to college to get an "education" and a job. In the process I will become a fully fledged adult.
2) Become indebted by step 1 to the tune of several hundreds of thousands of dollars, which is not tax deductible or able to be discharged in bankruptcy.
3) Money earned by job doesn't even pay down interest on loan and this is the new norm for the next few decades.
4) Still don't feel fulfilled or even like a fully fledged adult.
5) Decide to go to law school, repeat steps 1 - 4.

This kind of Eeyore Lemming was a new encounter for me and I looked at him after our conversation the same way that I would look at this person:

Till Next Time!! He's climbing in yo windows Snatching your future up! Tryna enroll em so hide yo kids, hide yo wife, and hide yo husbands Cuz errbody's goin to Law School!